Prof. I.M. Gestopftmitscheist

GED, Gymnasium ad Nauseum, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland PhDBS, Hochschule fur Musick un Bierbrauen, Bad Lippstadt Student of Otto Fisch, Oscar Franz, Franz Strauss, Otto Franz, Otto Strauss, Oscar Fisch, Oscar Strauss, Franz Fisch, Otto Otto, Oscar Oscar, Franz Franz Teacher of Kendall Betts Inventor of the Registered Science of Clamology and Author of 'The Lexicon of Clamology.' Author, 'The Kopprasch Connection,' 'Kopprasch for Fun and Profit,' 'Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In?' 'Hooked on Hornonics,' 'The DaVinci Clam: Was Kopprasch God's Other Son?' and the new best seller 'The Kopprasch Kronicles.' Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Clammers Anonymous (a twelve half step program) Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Founder and Disseminator of CLAMSAA, the Universal Holiday for Horn Players Exclusive Anborg, Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone, Val*Mart and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free Owner-Operator, Bad Corner Petroleum Laboratory, 'The Worlds Largest Valve Oil Factory'

Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ (Ret.) Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn, Pest Control and Home Petroleum Studies, Northern New Hampshire Technical Institute, Bad Corner, NH Freelance lecturer in Clamology

Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Bad Corner Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, 'The Phantom Lane Changers' (ret., bad knees) Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte World's Leading Right-Handed-Eb-Wagner Tuba Soloist Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record

Kopprasch No. 1, Eb Transposition, Hand-stopping on Wagner Tuba, Sonic Marksmanship, missing notes properly from above and/or below, playing beautifully on all the wrong fingerings, playing valve horn repertoire on natural horn, educating music critics

Some

Bob's Mobil, Exit 36, I93, Bad Corner, NH

Will teach (or be president) for beer